"The winners in life think constantly in terms of 'I can', 'I will', and 'I am.' Losers, on the other hand, concentrate their waking thoughts on what they should have or would have done, or what they can't do."
-Dr. Denis Waitley
Psychologist and Author

Fear can really be a pest. It keeps us from meeting great people, discovering new interests and setting big goals. It's the cause of failed relationships, low self-esteem and lifetimes filled with regret for not taking that chance.

Take last week for example. There were 12 educated and intelligent attendees in a presentation skills class where we teach people to speak before an audience.

One of the assignments literally paid cash to the individual who could persuade their peers on his or her favorite activity on weekends. The presenter most willing to surrender humility, speak with unbridled passion and take a chance would win $50.

From skiing and watching college football to Frisbee golf and home remodeling, participants went nuts. Some jumped on chairs, while others danced like lunatics to win the vote of their mates and collect the loot.

As pumped up, creative and engaging as these presentations were, a disappointing ending occurred. When later asked to deliver a serious topic relative to their business, presenters hid like turtles in a shell. Gone were the enthusiasm, conviction and positive vibes that were so prominent in the prior presentations.

You may be thinking, "Yeah, but the first presentation was for fun, the second was serious and important." And I would say you're right, but you're also wrong.

Sure, there is a time to be serious, but that doesn't mean we should let fear dominate our attempt to connect with others and be successful.

The biggest distinction between the presentations was the first ones consisted of people playing to win because money was on the line. The second presentations were far less effective because presenters were trying not to lose.

This applies directly to you, on a personal and professional level. Do you focus on how things could go wrong and how they won't work, or how things can go right and how they will work?

WARNING: Here comes another self-disclosure: My wife and I are currently building a house that will ratchet our mortgage 300 percent over where it currently is.

After forgetting to breathe for several minutes, I managed the blitzing fear of this prospect by asking this simple question: "If I didn't work another day after we close on the house, how many months could we pay?"

The answer forced me to look at things from a logical perspective of "how can it work" vs. "why it can't."

Please accept my apology for personal examples. I only share them because these applications apply to all of us. Everyone gets worried and anxious when it comes to big decisions, but which handle do you grab onto, the one that says "Don't fail" or the one that says "Play to win?"

If you recall, many of us were excited in the preparation of the new millenium, or Y2K, as it dawned upon us. That seems like yesterday and it's already five years ago. What's the point?

Time goes fast. Life is short. Play to win.